A Story of Understanding
I am inspired by a recent encounter with a real live human (other than my partner) to write about (part of) our conversation :-) This visit was perfectly legal and safe and extremely beneficial to my partner and I. I can’t express how overjoyed I was to interact with someone other than my (new best friend) grocery store check out person or my partner. I am VERY privileged. I do get to FaceTime and Zoom with my family regularly but I want to share that real human time is special for me.
After our visitor and I commiserated on university life (in particular yawn-inducing professors), I started sharing about how I have been feeling since the latest lockdown (our 8pm curfew and now medical masks required while shopping etc.) and that even though I was probably already not doing anything at 8pm, NOT being able to do anything at 8pm is a new thing to experience. It increases the pressure a bit. Pressure to get home on time or go out quickly before the deadline, for some it removes their whole way of social living at night. It can be kind of fun to navigate pressure but it can also be what pushes some of us over the edge. I have a lot of empathy for what folks are feeling, but as my visitor said, our ancestors went through wars and previous pandemics without the help of vaccines or safe haven, so we still feel pretty lucky.
I was as excited as a kid to have a visitor so I chatted somewhat quickly moving from topic to topic and shared how grocery shopping now feels like a very dangerous competitive sport. The store I go to is a relatively small (not for Europe) biomarkt (it’s about the size of Riverside Grocery in Whitehorse if it had one more aisle and a different shape) and so when all anyone is allowed to do is grocery shop, go to the Apotheke or post office, I think shopping becomes a past time for some kind of human connection because it has become SOOOO busy, good for business, increases the pressure though. I like to go when no one is around so that I can ponder the food presented, think about the recipes I am making, what else could I make etc. (I also come prepared with a list), I like that it stimulates my creativity. So this NEW way of grocery shopping where we have to avoid each others’ bubble and be mindful of not staying too long and creating a line up - at best, it impacts my previously enjoyed moments of creativity and at worst it just feels like a race I didn’t train for and so it feels like pressure.
My visitor talked about how grocery shopping has also become a slight tribulation…always WAITING for the person who is pondering the (z.B) zucchini…and we laughed at the revelation…I AM THE PERSON pondering the zucchini and I FEEL the pressure. We laughed (I cackled) and enjoyed our perspectives of the same situation. I did relay that I have learned to modify my previous luxurious use of time by sometimes leaving my cart in a space with bigger area and sort of running to and from the place where I need to gather ingredients AND/OR standing back at a 1.5m distance to patiently peruse the offerings…depending on the location in the store. I now have it mapped out in my brain - my appropriate behaviour AND where to park my cart. I love that I saw another older dude employing the same methods this past Saturday. I felt a kindred spirit and gave him a nod…even though he likely didn’t catch my smile or see the feeling of recognition in my eyes, I love that I’m not alone in my grocery store self growth.
I also feel a strong connection growing with my grocery store clerk. We have now evolved our relationship to a point where she says “muss sein” after I give her a kind of “hhhhhhhm” when responding to her question “Und wie geht’s dir?” (We “Dutze” - that happened at our first day of meeting 2 yrs ago)…and of course I said “Genau” to her “muss sein” - my first ever understanding of a colloquial situation…which is ironic because she’s from Vietnam and I am from Canada…but now I feel like we are relating on a totally new level 😁. I learned later that “muss” or “muss sein” is the English equivalent of like “meh” or “it’s going”…not 100% pleased BUT moving forward. Being understood like this also made my day. I connected even more with my grocery store clerk. Yesssss!
The moral of this story is: take time to understand yourself, be aware of what you bring into the grocery store (aka world) (not just your bags for carrying your groceries but maybe your baggage too 😉 ), you never know when you might make a new friend; also when you understand and are aware of yourself you can start to understand and be aware and even LAUGH with others with different perspectives. It’s so much fun! Danke sehr, Marcel!
XoxoxoChristinexoxoxo
